sex

How to practice extreme intimacy with Dominatrix-to-the-stars Jenny Nordbak

How to practice extreme intimacy with Dominatrix-to-the-stars Jenny Nordbak

When you boil it down, all of us want super intimate relationships. But how do we get there? Especially with our loved ones?  There’s not much out there to model from. Hard to learn from your parents. It’s not like there’s a class in school on how to have intimate relationships or even what to look for. Really, there’s not any kind of guidance. We’re all grasping at straws, feeling our way without much of a map. 

And when you live in our culture, there’s some pretty strict rules about what relationships look like. We’re either watching movies like Love Actually, where a guy shows up holding poster-board that says “to me, you’re perfect” or we’re watching hardcore porn of people’s junk. When it comes to intimacy, there’s two types of trained professionals that people pay to get help: Either you’re droning on to a shrink about your problems or you might have some specific sexualized fantasies that you need to exercise. For that, you might turn to a Dominatrix. 

Polyamory might be the next big social movement with author Carrie Jenkins

Polyamory might be the next big social movement with author Carrie Jenkins

Love is life’s biggest virus of the mind. We live and die for it. Make major decisions because of it. And completely don’t understand it. “It’s complicated” is an understatement. We’re handed a script about what love really means and should be from the time we’re children. Our fairytales are pretty clear: you’ll meet someone and be swept off your feet, have babies and live happily ever after. But by the time you’re in y our 30s if this hasn’t happened for you, people think you’re misdirected or in the closet. Then by your 40s, the jury is out and clearly something’s wrong with you. Even if you did get married, where the hell are the kids? Let’s face it, we’re all following the same recipe for love— even if it doesn’t fit. 

GHB: Date-rape or miracle drug? with researcher Dan Pardi

GHB: Date-rape or miracle drug? with researcher Dan Pardi

It’s always interesting to me to see which drugs get thrown under the bus. Most of them are the ones that are illegal but the reality is, as you’ve heard on this show, that drugs are used for all kinds of reasons. Some of which are “pharmaceutical” and have to do with capitalistic interest and some are “recreational” and have to do with spiritual or social interest. The use of all those drugs has everything to do with the intent of the person or company behind it. That’s why I wanted an episode dedicated to GHB, often labeled the date-rape drug. As you’ll hear, there have been many date-rape drugs. GHB has some amazing benefits to it that has nothing to do with it’s date-rape branding. 

Adventures of the human anus with science writer Mary Roach

Adventures of the human anus with science writer Mary Roach

My friends know I have this thing with toilet humor, with poop, with butts, with holes in butts, pretty much everything rear-facing. So yeah, it wouldn’t be a stretch (so to speak) to be up front with the fact I’m completely fascinated by anuses. That “poor friend in the back” is a prominent theme at my house, certainly with having a toddler, and even around the dinner table. Heck, I use the poo emoji as my heart emoji. In fact, I poo all of you. Some people don’t find it as funny but either way, we can agree our anus and rectum is a pretty private, vulnerable, and mysterious place. For sure an uncomfortable social taboo. Unless you’re science writer Mary Roach, who has written many funny books about the science of the human body. My butt radar noticed that  many of them include super interesting starfish adventures from the other side, if you know what I mean. So, I asked her to spend an entire podcast talking about our fannies— from interesting stuff that happens when we’re at war, when we have sex, when we go to outer space, when we swallow something, when we die and even the afterlife. I guess you can say, we take about why shit matters. 

Why sex therapy is the new must-have with Elizabeth McGrath

Why sex therapy is the new must-have with Elizabeth McGrath

Come to think of it, I don’t remember ever wondering what sex therapy was or who it’s for but after my conversation with somatic sex therapist, Elizabeth McGrath, I realized I could have saved a million sessions with my therapist and a lot of time and money if I just would have started with someone like her. Sure, there’s plenty of other non-sexually related issues you can chat with your Counsellor about like facing mortality, how your parents were total assholes, and your fear of meat but at least for me, most of my issues have had to do sex and relationships. If I would have spent time unraveling those, I would have known so much more of myself, so much faster and that would have leaf blown a million mental boxing matches. Just have a listen to this conversation with Elizabeth McGrath and you’ll see what we mean. We cover a massive range topics and really helpful advice that will, no doubt, lead you to the same conclusion I had: Sex-therapy is the new must have. 

The price of censoring nudity with Photographer Jock Sturges.

The price of censoring nudity with Photographer Jock Sturges.

We might think of our culture as progressive, but I’d argue that shame of the human body has never been higher, in part thanks to a global culture forming around Facebook’s censoring of breastfeeding Moms, nudes in classic art, and pretty much anything that even resembles a nipple or even your kid, naked under a sprinkler. As we shovel more and more of this imagery from our consciousness we’re telling a dangerous story to the world.

Before this was an issue, there have been many decades of the religious right beating down what they see as inappropriate. Either literally or monetarily burning them at the stake. In the early 90s, this happened to this week’s guest, Jock Sturges, who had been shooting controversial fine art images of naturist adolescents and their families for decades. His studio was raided by the FBI and his  photos and equipment was seized. While the grand jury declined to bring an indictment against him, and the French government flat out laughed at the charges and instead told the right that they were huge fans of his work, it was no less ruinous.

Why everything feels so fake with author Chris Ryan

Why everything feels so fake with author Chris Ryan

There are two kinds of people: those of us that are domesticated and those that feel strangely out of place. The ones that feel out of place, might not be able to communicate why, but know in their gut not only that our world is toxic but that the systems and traditions we’ve created don’t feel even close to natural. No matter which camp you fall in, both feel depressed, frustrated, anxious and flat-out unsatisfied as they get dragged through our culture’s unfriendly demands just to stay afloat. Have you ever asked yourself how and why we’ve sabotaged ourselves like this? Author and Psychologist Chris Ryan, has tackled big parts of the Matrix through his and his wife’s book, Sex at Dawn, his podcast Tangentially Speaking and his forthcoming book Civilized to Death.

What midlife couples want with author Jenna McCarthy

What midlife couples want with author Jenna McCarthy

There’s a lot out there about marriage. Recently, who has the right to marry whom, as been all over the media and, as we all know, there’s a massive industry focused on profiting from “that special day.” But what happens after that? The rest of your married life is not so clear. As you grow from young adult to middle age and, if you’re lucky, your golden years— what does marriage look like and what do we expect from each other? This week’s guest, Jenna McCarthy, is the author of many books on relationships and her TED talk on “What you don’t know about marriage” has almost four million views. She’s hilarious and a lot of fun to talk to, you’ll get a lot out of our conversation about what midlife spouses want from each other.

A dominatrix smokes toad venom and loses her ego with Mistress Colette

A dominatrix smokes toad venom and loses her ego with Mistress Colette

I bet if I told you I knew someone who helped people face the monsters in their closets everyday, who was personally and professionally devoted to the pursuit of intense human connections, of deep understanding, of learning, of helping others— you would think I was describing a psychologist or maybe a spiritual leader but certainly not a professional dominatrix.

What to do when your soul takes a stagedive with frontwoman Jenny Angelillo

What to do when your soul takes a stagedive with frontwoman Jenny Angelillo

Jenny Angelillo spent her life on stage which, according to her,  both ruined and saved her life. She's the lead singer for punk band Neighborhood Brats, and previously was a ballerina, an esthetician and a MFA creative photographer. Vice Magazine called her the female Henry Rollins.